To be honest I've sort of stopped making work all together. I make a painting or do a sketch here and there, but the majority of my time is spent working at a "real" job. There was a time where I thought the principle of making work was worth it enough, but now I believe that some work is just stuff people don't want to see. And reaching out and convincing people that your work is worth seeing is for many more extroverted people then someone like me.
In the last year I've been a part of group after group that fell apart. I've discussed show after show with people that gets rejected and never happens. And meanwhile life just keeps coming. Promoting yourself is best left to people with connections and the ability to make connections. Not to socially introverted people with a day job.
Lately I've had urges to reach out to people i've left behind, and the list seems to be growing as I get older and move down or up a direction in my life. And yet I feel like inherently these things are for me and not out of genuine interest of other people. Sometimes I think maybe my art is about this kind of thing, that I lost any genuine interest awhile ago when I stopped having a huge passion for things.
It's harder as I get older and more stable (or less stable) in my life to feel a sort of passion for something. Art has become another intangible thing left for people who took successful internships, know people, and network appropriately. And to even situated myself in a position where my art matters is beyond my scope of understanding.
It's harder for me to write things to describe my art, or describe how I view things, lately things have seemed to be a collection of debates and arguments of conflicting view points and life styles that I can't sort through.
I've been thinking about not making work anymore, about hanging it up officially and stop trying to pretend that something will come out of it.